My life sucks!

OK maybe that's a little strong but, something, someone or some force is against me here...



Between hurting my back, and my brother sickness, my sickness, truck problems and graduation and grad parties, money is starting to disappear faster then I had planned and now I'm focused on that more than my damn health and comeback...



I just don't know how the top notch amateurs do it, to be able to train and race all day and keep a place to live and maintain a home life while being pulled this way and that way and trying to keep the money flowing... Hard, very hard...



I'm trying accomplish something here for me personally in my life and it seems around every corner there's a wall... Yes, I know I'm BOOHOOING here but it's starting to get to me.



Need better motivation, not enough. Plus the tough part is I don't have to do this, I want to do it but, that wee little part in the brain is always there when something gos wrong or comes up, it's always there saying skip your training, no one cares! - you're not doing it to make a team or win a championship, you're just a old fool trying to ride a bike in the mud...



Hard, very hard

Losing my motivation...

Knobby